(17 November, Germany) Germany's long-held image as a peaceful Utopia has been tarnished by an acrimonious divorce.

After bitter divorce proceedings, 40-year-old Uwe of Brandenburg found that he had lost everything but his lederhosen knickerbockers.

Among other possessions, the settlement demanded that Uwe turn over ownership of his house to his newly-estranged wife, Verena. Enraged by his 37-year-old wife's unmitigated legal victory, the forty-year-old man decided to follow the sage advice of an obscure German proverb: "If life gives you lemons, burn them."

Descending into the basement with his trusty drill, Uwe proceeded to bore several holes into a rather large oil tank. He then set fire to the fuel as it poured in erratic streams onto the floor.

To his delight, the entire basement was engulfed in flames within seconds. His joy turned to ashes, however, when he realized that he was now in the middle of a Hindenburg-sized house fire.

Despite a valiant effort to save himself, Uwe died in the flames of his own vengeance. Verena got the last laugh, which acquaintances described as "maniacal."